Daily Life of Eijun
by Spring Zephyr
Summary: Eijun is dumb. Unbelievably dumb. (Possibly more drabbles to come!)
1. Chapter 1

**I wanted to write a cutesy story with Eijun and Raichi training together, but I wrote this instead.**

 **As usual, I'm also worried about the stories I write being OoC. Does the fact that this is more of a parody fic than anything excuse it? ^^; Well, if there's anything too glaringly off, feel free to point it out in a review or PM.**

"With a little work, your batting could probably kill the dinosaurs all over again."

Eijun's face immediately split into a large smile. He jumped up, hands on his hips.

"That's right! I'll be so good, balls I hit will be like meteorites! Gahahaha!"

Under the cover of his obnoxious laughter, Furuya scooted closer to Haruichi and leaned over to whisper, "But wouldn't we need to bring the dinosaurs back first?"

"Exactly." Haruichi replied, with a small, almost forced smile. "That's where the work is, there's no hope for Eijun."

Speaking of which, it was about time Haruichi attempted to feed a thought to the few braincells Eijun actually had, "You know who else can kill dinosaurs with their batting?"

"Godzilla!" Eijun responded enthusiastically. "Wait... isn't Godzilla a dinosaur too?"

"Is Godzilla really–"

"I was talking about Raichi," Haruichi cut in, knowing that if he allowed Eijun and Furuya to get into an argument about this now, they'd probably be going at it all day.

Eijun blinked once.

Twice.

"Is Raichi Godzilla?"

"No," Haruichi replied with a sigh. "But he is really good at batting–"

"Yeah, so?" Eijun interrupted.

It was almost impressive how quickly Eijun's expression could change to a pout, because that was a trait otherwise observed in only five year olds. If he was aware of it at all, he made no attempts to hide it.

"–and you're only good at throwing and catching."

He waited two more blinks for Eijun to catch up, then one more for it to really sink in.

"Oh!"

Eijun's face lit up like a light, displaying the kind of pride and self-confidence that came with any great idea. Never mind the fact that Haruichi had worked hard to plant it in his head.

"That means I finally beat Raichi at something, gahaha!"

"Maybe the two of you could help each other practice!" Furuya snapped finally.

It was impossible even for Eijun to _not_ notice the sharp tone of his suggestion, and this time he seemed to get it.

"Right, right, I'll call him on his cell phone and ask to practice together, we'll drag some tires around, and then we'll _both_ return to school and kill _all_ of the dinosaurs!"

Eijun stalked off, while his two teammates watched in stunned silence. Even when Eijun appeared to understand something... it somehow still felt like he didn't really understand. They could hear him rambling about dinosaurs, chocolate-covered french fries, and baseball long after they lost sight of him.

"Well, that backfired," Haruichi muttered dryly.

"How long do you think it will take him to realize he doesn't have Raichi's phone number?" Furuya asked.

"How long do you think it will take him to realize Raichi doesn't have a cellphone?"


	2. Chapter 2

"Good grief, Eijun. It's not that spicy."

"I'll go get a napkin..."

But food! Food was good, and there was no problem food wouldn't fix, even if Eijun's stomach felt weirdly not empty. His face felt kind of hot too. And his head was heavy, like he could barely lift it – so he needed food in order to keep his strength up, right?

"Ah, Eijun was acting weird before lunch too," Haruichi corrected. "Weirder than usual, I mean."

Everyone watched Eijun drip snot into cafeteria made curry for a moment longer before Kuramochi piped up, "I thought he was just thinking something perverted."

"Now that you mention it, Eijun hasn't interrupted class yet."

"That settles it. Something is definitely – Eijun, stop shoveling food in your mouth! You'll make yourself throw up."

"Buh yew need to eat to be healfy – "

"The opposite happens if you're trying to eat while sick," Haruichi sighed.

"He probably has no experience with these things," Miyuki pointed out. "Idiots aren't supposed to catch colds..."

 **I lost the original draft for this "chapter" and then forgot I had written it for a while. ^^'**


End file.
